It’s so easy in life to accept being comfortable. And when you settle for comfort, you stop pushing and striving for the things you want in life.
I just recently had a conversation with my wife about this and here’s what I saw out of it.
I found myself settling in to something comfortable rather than pushing my boundaries.
Now if there’s one thing that I’ve learned throughout all my years of learning and growing as a man, it’s this, I’m at my most alive when I’m out in the world pushing my boundaries. David Deida talks quite a bit about a man leaning beyond his edge. For those of you who don’t know what that means, it means not living life playing it safe, doing something that brings you out of your comfort zone, it might even mean doing something that scares the shit out of you or doing something that you aren’t sure you’re going to win at. For me, I had to confront that I stopped working on Men’s Relationship Coaching because I wasn’t sure I had what it takes to make it. That was a tough pill to swallow once I got present to that!
Sure these last few months have been great. But if I look back on it, when I’m not working on my other projects, I’m living like my work is done for the day. I’m not saying that everyone should have more than 1 thing going at a time or that everyone should be up to multiple things in your life, but I know that there is so much more for me to give to the world no matter how exciting they are and the thing that had me stop working on them was a fear of failing, not because I was consciously choosing to.
As a result, when I gave into my fear, I subconsciously became smaller in my own mind and stunted my growth and expansion as a man. My wife noticed this and eventually talked to me about my lack of risk taking and choices to stay safe. I had to come face to face with the fact that I had gotten comfortable and allowed myself to coast. I had stopped pushing back on my fears and playing full out, all of which was hard for me to confront. In the end, I recognized that I wasn’t lit up by my life and wasn’t playing or living full out. And what better way to interrupt that then to face my fear and put this out there and confront my fear of failure for everyone to read.
If I am doing it, then I am sure some of you may be too. And if you aren’t bravo but still is there some new edge you can lean into?
Where in your life are you letting fear run the show and not pushing your comfort zone? Feel free to leave a comment about it!
To your relationship success,
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