Embracing The Darkness Within

man with shadow
Photo Credit to Lane Erickson

Sometimes you have to sacrifice things in your relationship. My wife and I are at a point right now where we aren’t on the same page and I’m convinced that a lot of it has to do with me.

I’ve been on a bit of a journey for the last couple of months and it hasn’t been a very pleasant one.

It’s easy to focus on all the parts of ourselves that others admire or that we admire about ourselves, It is a whole other story to really look at the parts that we want to avoid or tend to ignore.

Right now the area that is really being triggered for me is the part that seeks external validation for myself through my results. ‘What I’ve produced’, ‘who I’ve helped’, ‘what I’ve accomplished’ are all forcing me to look at the aspect of myself that is VERY results oriented.

I think as men this is a big part of how we construct ourselves– we tie ourselves and our worth to the external world. And while I think it’s important and a great way to keep score, I also believe that if we rely on that alone to get our sense of self-worth, then our sense of self becomes very fragile and hangs by a tenuous strip, especially when we have a downturn in performance.

Break the link for external validation

As men, breaking that link so that it’s not the only place we rely on to get validation is essential for our growth.

It’s also important that we honour and understand that it has it’s usefulness as well.

Being action oriented, goal driven and ambitious are what has us strive to be better men, gives us a sense of motivation and purpose and has us continue to fight even when things seem hopeless.

I’m finding that there is a real paradox here. On the one hand you don’t want to rely on external factors to validate who you are (ie: what people say about you, how much money you have in the bank, what results you produced etc), but you also don’t want to shut that part of you off completely as it is something that fuels and drives you to produce in the world.

I think there is a balance that can be struck, that has just enough of it being used to further your growth, but not so much that it is completely running you.

This plays a huge role not only in who we are as a man for ourself in the mirror, but also in how it affects the ones we love around us. Especially our partners.

embracing-shadow-self
Photo Credit to www.lonerwolf.com

Embrace your shadow

I believe that the real work, especially when it comes to relationship is to learn to embrace that shadows that exists inside of you. Anything that I can’t love in myself, I’ll have no chance of loving it outside of me.

(Here is a great resource on embracing shadows)

And that is problematic because without taking the time to fully embrace everything you are and everything you aren’t, you walk around as an incomplete human – not because you are actually missing pieces but because that’s how you identify and relate to yourself.

Think about it, if there are parts of you that you can’t be with, then there is no way that you can be complete with who you are, because there are still parts of you that you don’t accept.

So where does the part about sacrifice come in here?

In order for me to really take this on, I’ve had to look and see where I look for external validation in all areas of my life. And up front and center I saw that my relationship was another place I use to prove to myself that I am alright.

And so I have had to take a step back from the intimacy and closeness I’ve felt in my relationship to be able to differentiate the ways in which I use it’s health and my wife’s happiness as a way to feed my ego and feel good about myself when the rest of the world isn’t validating me.

This is not to say that my wife or the relationship is not important to me, it is and they are, but I noticed that desire and want to have a great marriage or awesome connection with her was starting to coming from a place of proving something about myself. I was beginning to use the relationship not only as a place for mutual connection and support but as the place for me to draw from when I’m feeling low because the other areas of my life seemed hard.

And while I do believe our relationship with our spouse can be a well-spring for intimacy and esteem using it as a crutch or sole source is not healthy for you, her or the relationship you both share.

Generate love for yourself

In reality no one or no thing can do that work for, I have to be able to generate it myself. That as a man I have to be able to create and cultivate that from scratch for me first before looking for it outside of me.

It’s been an uncomfortable ride and one that is not over yet, but I know that what lies on the other side will not only be sweet surrender and bliss, but a new level of Self.

You may be going through your own dark time right now or your own version of difficulty and that’s why I wrote this. To let you know a few things:

Firstly, everyone, even the people you think have everything together deal with adversity of some kind in their life – no one is immune.

Secondly you’re not alone and you will eventually get out of it. And lastly to remind you that it is worth it and to not give up.

The key is to just keep fighting. walk through fire

Forget about what you are walking towards, because when you’re in the gutter you can’t always see what’s ahead.  All you have to do is focus on placing one foot in front of the other. Take that one next step. Then another and another.

Winston Churchill said it the best, “When you are going through hell, keep going”

And that’s what I plan to do, to keep going, one step at a time.

So wherever you are and whatever you are dealing with know that step by step you will make it through.

I can’t tell you how long it will take but as someone who is in it too I look forward to seeing you  you on the other side.

Scott

What To Consider Before Ending Your Relationship

break up

As a men’s relationship coach many believe that I am a die hard advocate for men being in relationship, and while I do care about men being in relationships I am actually more committed to men being in the right relationship.

“When is the right time to end a relationship” and “how do I know if I should stay with it” are common issues men deal with, especially when going through a rough patch.

I believe that there are moments when it’s entirely appropriate to end your relationship.

But I also believe in doing everything in your power to make it work as well, to give it all you’ve got so that when you leave you know you held nothing back. This last point is important because though I am not attached to couples staying together, I do believe that how you leave one relationship, will carry over into your next one.

And it’s because of that, I advocate that you should do everything that’s in your power to make sure that if you are going to leave or end your relationship you should make sure that you’ve done everything you can and know to do to make it work.

(A caveat about that last statement – I’m not advocating you fight for a relationship that’s abusive in any way. If your safety is at risk, you should leave and leave immediately.)

So what does ‘doing everything you can’ look like?

How does one actually go about making sure that they did everything in their power to make it work?

Some of the exercises that I have my clients go through include :

  •         Seeing where they are blaming or shaming their partner
  •         Looking for where is there resent present in the relationship
  •         Finding where there regret

This is by no means an exhaustive list there are lots of other exercises one can do and depending on the client’s situation, I may have them do all of them or only a few, but this is a good place to start.

Here’s a more detailed look about what some of these mean.

Where are you blaming or shaming your partner?

This one seems a tad obvious but I’ve found that sometimes things being obvious doesn’t mean that it is clear, in fact sometimes something being so obvious is a reason we overlook it.

Here’s why this is important in regards to leaving the relationship – It gives you an opportunity to take full responsibility.

Responsibility is distinct from blame – responsibility is an opportunity for you to own your part in the relationship not working. It’s never just one person who is responsible for conflict or things being off in the relationship – it’s always both parties.

However, there is a lot of personal power and freedom that can be found if you don’t relate to things being off as something your partner is responsible for and instead take full responsibility for the way the relationship is (or is not) meeting expectations.

This leaves you in a place where you’re able to do something about it, whether it’s have a conversation or take a specific action, rather than be at the affect of it.

Either way, when I can see where I’m responsible for something, I’m empowered.

Where is there resent?

This is such a big thing in regards to relationships and in fact I believe that resent is the biggest reason relationships fail.

Resentment is a perfectly normal experience to have in a relationship – it’s how we deal with it that’s important.

Resentment comes from an unmet expectation from our partner (or the relationship itself), usually we feel that they hurt us in some way by not acting or reacting to a situation in a way we deem appropriate and meets our expectations.

Most couples deal with resentment by burying it, not talking about it and think that over time those feelings will just go away.

The problem with this approach is that you and your partner are never really free of your resentment and as a result relive it over and over and over.

Anytime your partner does something that reminds you of that incomplete incident it triggers a whole bunch of unprocessed emotions and as a result we project those emotions onto the present situation.

So why is it important to deal with them?

Because if you don’t and break up, what’s going to happen is those same experiences will become a trigger point in your next relationship and you will end up dealing with the same issues as your last one. You literally carry the habit with you from person to person- no matter who they are.

So how do you deal with resentments? The most effective way I’ve found is to take responsibility for my own resentments and also see if there is some way I can understand my partner’s feelings about theirs.

The thing most people fail to realize is that although your partner may have acted in a way that was sub optimal in your mind, it was still your choice to become resentful, hold a grudge or get triggered. No one can make you feel anything and so we must own the part we play in creating and sustaining the resentments that we do.

(For more on resentment check out this piece here)

The next one I have men look at is their regrets.

What regrets do you have?

This can be a pretty long list for some guys. I think we are all overly critical of ourselves, especially when we fail to meet our own standards that we’ve set for ourselves.

Making a list of all the things that you regret with regards to your relationship – all the places that you failed to act appropriately, say the right thing or just places where you know you’ve fucked up and aren’t proud of can be a very powerful healing tool when used properly.

Sometimes all it takes is to get present to them and be willing to relive the hurt, other times you may find yourself needing to have a conversation to apologize to your partner about how you behaved or restore the lack of trust.

The thing about doing all this work is, sometimes it’s effective in having the couple fall back in love. They realize that they let all of their views, judgements and emotions cloud their view of their partner and as a result of that, “fell out of love”.

Often times, just doing this work will make a huge difference in how the couple relates to each other and see each other.

If that doesn’t work, at least it gives both parties an opportunity to start with a clean slate elsewhere.

Furthermore, the breakup, when it happens will be a lot more amicable because the issues that were clouding the past weren’t there anymore and both you and your partner can acknowledge each other for the growth and love that each provided during your time together.

To me, is the best way to break up, when it’s completely mutual and full of love – so you both are free to then explore what else is out there for you without baggage or issues of past relationships clouding who you are now or who you are going to date next.

What are your thoughts on breaking up? What’s worked for you? Leave me a comment below and tell me your thoughts!

Scott

Do You Have Virtues Or Values?

woman-holding-scales

What do you value in life?

This is often one of the very first questions I ask men when I begin working with them. Usually the way in which they respond tends to sum up the code in which they live by.

Many times when we talk about things we value, what we really mean is something we virtue. And there is a huge difference between them.

What is a virtue?

In short a virtue is something that we admire when we see it and take on for ourselves. Sometimes we do it to specifically win the approval of others or to know ourselves in a certain way. If I say that I have self-expression as a value of mine, it could be because I really want to know myself as being self-expressed or believe that it is an important quality to have.

(If you want more information about virtues here’s what Wikipedia says about them.)

What is a value?

A value is something that goes beyond a virtue, something that has inherent meaning to you regardless of what other people think.

It is something that acts as a core commitment and one that is basically unfuckable with.

For example if I say that I value integrity and I act consistent with that, then you can count on me to act with integrity even in the moments when no one is looking and I stand to gain nothing by doing so.

I’m acting with integrity because it’s something I value, not because it’s going to get me something. (If you want to hear my thoughts on what integrity is, check out this post here)

So why is all this important?

Knowing the difference is very important. This is a critical distinction to make for a number of reasons as too many men I have spoken to or worked with fool themselves into thinking that they value something when really it lives as a virtue for them.

Naming this distinction also allows you to recognize where you are holding something as a virtue instead of a value, as it gives you an opportunity to actually see it for what it is and to make that virtue a value if need be.

There is nothing wrong with having virtues, we need them and they have an important place. Many, if not all, of us to some degree think our virtues are synonymous with our values and as such we think we are more consistent with our values than we actually are. That is why being able to know and understand the difference between the two provides us men with a lot more clarity and power around who we are.

If I think that I value something when it’s really just a virtue, then I won’t have my attention and intention on it and thus fail to notice when I act inconsistent with that value.

As a result I’ll have a bunch of justifications and excuses as to why I couldn’t operate consistent with that value and it will exist as an external issue rather than an internal one.

How this translates into real life is when I blame everything and everyone else around me rather than examining my relationship to what I value vs what is a virtue for me.

If one values monogamy but it lives as a virtue they may have a number of reasons and excuses as to why they were justified in their reasons for going outside the relationship for intimacy.

Whereas, someone who has monogamy as a true value would introspect and look inwards as to what had them break their promise or cause the shift in intimacy and trust. Someone with monogamy as a value might even get into communication with their partner or spouse before even going outside of the relationship.

There are moments in every person’s life where you’ve got a chance and choice to make between what you deem a value and what is a virtue.

And the thing is, it requires your constant awareness and attention to who you want to be, otherwise what you value will quickly become a virtue.

The important thing is to be clear with yourself.

It’s a choice only YOU can make

Choosing to value something is a moment by moment choice and the minute I stop choosing it as a value, that’s the moment it becomes a virtue.

So ultimately what I’ve found to be useful to me is that every time I’m faced with a difficult decision that requires me to challenge what I value vs what’s a virtue for me, I always ask myself the question “what kind of man do I want to be?”

I find asking myself that question enables me to true myself up to my values and act consistent with that, when it would seem to be easier to forego that value, at the time.

So for you reading this today, I encourage you to take a moment out of your day and examine what it is that you say you value and see if you can distinguish where your value has become a virtue. Ask yourself “what kind of man do I want be?” and operate consistent with that.

It’s an opportunity for you to gain a new level of power in your self and consequently up-level your performance in all other areas of your life.
Scott

Is Your Purpose Big Enough?

hands holding earth

Your purpose, your legacy, the difference you are here to make is one of the most important things a man can discover for himself.

I believe that 2 of the most important questions a man can ever ask himself is who am I really? And why am I here?

Who you are is on ongoing ever-evolving inquiry that is shaped from the inside out for us men.

The ‘why’ that we search for tends to be a much more elusive concept and as men we have a string to pull to define who we are by ‘why we are here’.

So, why are YOU here?

Not finding the answer to this question is a crying shame as it can really impact a man’s sense of self and worth. Life has so much more meaning and value when you are living a higher purpose – one that shapes your thinking, planning and actions.

Many men I speak to think that they are living in line with their purpose, they talk about how they want to ensure a good life for their family and be able to provide. Now while I have all the respect in the world for that being a noble cause and one I deem important myself, it is not the same as having a purpose.

Let me tell you what I mean by that.

If your purpose in life doesn’t extend beyond your immediate self, chances are it’s not big enough.

A man’s purpose is the second biggest container for growth in his life (I think the first is his romantic relationship).

As such, it needs to be something that’s big enough to hold your growth inside of it. And while providing for one’s family and their future is certainly a big deal, I believe it limits how much a man can grow inside of it versus one that extends beyond that.

Now when looking beyond to a higher or greater purpose I find that there are some challenges that most men may be confronted by.

  •         Fear
  •         The feeling like your purpose is too big and thus you can’t fulfill it
  •         That what you want personally may not fit inside their new purpose
  •         That you are stuck with it for the rest of your life

Let me address these individually

Fear is something that is perfectly appropriate to face when you are expanding your purpose  and ultimately your life as it forces us to deal with change and any sort of change makes our reptile brain very uncomfortable.

However fear is critical for growth and expansion.

In fact, I would argue that if there isn’t a feeling of fear, then you aren’t thinking big enough.

I believe that a man’s purpose must scare him a little bit in order to have him grow into his potential. You see we don’t grow when we accomplish things in our life, we grow when we fail.

The next challenge is closely related to fear – the feeling that your purpose may be too big for you to accomplish.

I’m a firm believer that your purpose should be something that inspires you and be something that you may not necessarily fulfill in your lifetime.

The whole point of a purpose is that it gives you something to create a legacy from.

If you think of all the various men who have left a legacy it was because they stood for something or believed in something bigger than themselves and their life.

Ghandi, Steve Jobs, Richard Branson even Steve Erwin are examples of this.

Let’s look at a classic example Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

His purpose was the end of racism. Did he accomplish this before his life ended? No, in fact if you look racism still exists today.

But he dedicated his life to the end of it, probably knowing that he wouldn’t be around when it finally did occur.

And in dedicating his life to it, he contributed in a big way to racial equality today – without his voice, who knows where things would be now.

The third challenge is the false notion that that if you expand your purpose, you won’t be able to go after the things you really want in life personally. (ie: If you are out there trying to end world hunger you can’t be also wanting to have a Ferrari)

This is a huge misconception and is not reality at all.

If anything expanding your purpose will allow for greater impact on your personal life because who you will have to become in order to live that purpose will require a greater amount of growth from you.

And a bigger ‘you’ seeps into all areas of your life not just the ones you are focused in, if you are a man up to making a big impact on the world you will be way more able to attract the partner you want, make the money you deserve and have the toys you desire because you are more alive, fulfilled and lit by life.

And because you’ll have grown, your perspective on the problems you face personally will shift and new solutions that you previously wouldn’t see, will now occur as obvious for you.

What most men don’t see is that when their purpose expands so do they.

My purpose is that all people live a life without regrets. That’s something that resonates with me on a deep level.

It inspires me and when I first created that, it actually scared me a bit, who was I to make such a proclamation? I had to confront how I was actually going to accomplish that and also take a good hard look at how much of my life was not about that at all.

But the thing about that purpose is that I’m included in that purpose – I have to be someone who is living without regrets in order for that to be true for all people.

Finally, many men I’ve worked with think that if they do find their purpose that it will become something that they will spend the rest of their life fulfilling and are in some ways stuck with.

We are constantly changing.

You evolve and grow so much over your lifetimes and it’s entirely possible that your purpose will change throughout your life. And that is okay.

The point isn’t to find something that you can dedicate the rest of your life to fulfilling so that it ends up feeling more like a shackle then a springboard.

The point is to find something that inspires you right now. To create a future so strong and so compelling that it gives you a life where you are being pulled rather than being pushed.

Feel free to check in everyday with yourself and if what you are dedicated to still inspires you. If it does, great, and if it doesn’t, find something else that does.

Sir Ken Robinson speaks about our constant potential for renewal at any time in our life in his book The Element.

In it he discusses how much of our life is actually not linear and that our capacities to change do not diminish over time. ( For more information about this check out this book – a really great read on the subject)

Whatever you create, it doesn’t have to be something that you are stuck with for the rest of your life. A purpose is your creation and you have free reign to do whatever you want with it – including throwing it out if it no longer serves you.

And here’s the extra beauty of creating a purpose like this…it’ll have a positive impact on your relationship.

Most partners want someone who is up to something in their life. They want someone who lives for more than just the relationship – it’s actually a turnon to know that you have other important things in your life, maybe even as important as they are.

As a result, so long as you aren’t neglectful in your relationship (see what I mean by that here)

your partner will be someone who pushes you and supports you in fulfilling your purpose.

And probably the best part about this whole process – you get to see yourself differently.

There is a whole world of negative self talk that we can all engage in – having a big purpose helps us to quiet those inner conversations.

And I believe that we can use more silence in our lives when it comes to our inner critic because ultimately if we are all empowered in our day-to-day lives, we can go out and make the kinds of changes that we need to make to have our world flourish.

And yes, that includes you.

So, if you haven’t yet discovered your purpose or feel that you aren’t living a big enough one, what are you waiting for?

Given my purpose I want you to have an inspiring future that pulls you forward and fulfills you.

Time waits for no man, start living your true purpose today.

Here’s to life with no regrets,

Scott

PS – if you are stuck on how to discover your purpose or want help expanding your existing one, enter your name and email address in the box below and I’ll contact you to set up a free call where we can go to work on it together.

Sex and Porn

sex

Sex and intimacy is a big subject for us all and are both very distinct concepts.

Most men (not all but most) are relatively confident when it comes to sex. We know what to do in general, how it all works, all the parts involved and what the ultimate result is.

But many men struggle when it comes to intimacy and what it actually means and involves.

Why is that?

For starters for many of us how we are first introduced to sex plays a big factor. If you survey most men about their first introduction to sex, the majority of them will say it is through pornography of some kind. Whether that be the underwear section of the local department stores flyer, an actual porn magazine or some secret stash of sexually explicit videos.

The big problem with pornography is that it’s absolutely terrible as an educational tool for sex– but even more so when it comes to intimacy.

It is very rare when porn videos show any sort of intimacy between the couple having sex on screen. Most porn shows the guy basically doing whatever he wants for his pleasure and the woman ‘seemingly’ enjoying every minute of it. (For an interesting look at the porn industry check out this project – warning it’s NSFW)

All while both parties are vacant and disconnected except for a few moans and groans in unison.

Unfortunately, it’s just not reality and nothing close to what actual sex and intimacy is.

If porn is our introduction into sex, then it’s no surprise that we struggle with intimacy – after all we would just be mimicking what we see in those videos and because we never take the time to learn more about it, nor are there a lot of available resources for us at that age, we think that the women actually enjoy sex the way it’s done in those pornogrpahic videos and magazines.

The truth is most porn is filmed by men, for men and acts as nothing more than a pleasure tool that hits all the right buttons in our mental pleasure receptors. It is quite literally the visual version of Cheetos for our brains. No quality or substance but gives us a hit of perfectly crafted fake flavors.

And this not only acts as a disservice for our women but for ourselves as well.
Some of the lessons we learn from it can aid in our own feelings of inadequacy.

Lessons like:

  •         You should be able to go for hours or else you aren’t doing it right
  •         Women want sex however you want it
  •         Sex is all about ejaculation and release
  •         Women should all look like porn stars
  •         Sex is for your pleasure and yours alone

And on and on and on…

Unfortunately these messages can really cripple us when it comes to intimacy. The best sex I’ve had is when I’m connected with my wife – when I look deep into her eyes and see her looking back at mine.

Sex becomes a whole other experience when she and I are connected like that.

And what that allows for and creates  is deep intimacy between us.

It allows us to dive deeper into our relationship and grow more as humans because what shows up as we go deeper into intimacy is all of the ways we put up our barriers against it.

And for me and probably a lot of men out there one of the biggest barriers is the fear of vulnerability.

Too often as men we think that we must be an alpha male in EVERYTHING we do and live inside a false belief that alpha males are NEVER vulnerable.

And yet, when it comes to intimacy and great sex, a huge level of vulnerability is required. That can look a number of different ways, from being willing to be fully seen by your partner to deep conversations before the act of sex even begins.

Sometimes it involves sharing where you are afraid or feeling small, insecure or anything ‘less than what a man “should be”.

Sharing of ourselves in authentic, integrous and open ways are the things that bring human beings closer together, when you are able to fully drop your guard and be willing to be seen fully exposed with nothing hidden in that moment.

Porn has stunted us as men inside our context for sex. If you talk to 10 men, most of them will agree that the point of sex is to achieve orgasm. While this is a great result to have during sex it is not the only one, nor the most important one.

I am not trying to stand on pedestal with overall hate for the porn industry. I think that there are times it can be used for erotic energy, new ideas and can even be enjoyed with your partner.

(Plus, and with all the new types of porn for women being created, it has the potential to allow for a more connected experience.)

I also know that from my own experience with Tantric work and other workshops various types of porn can and are beneficial.

However by in large, the vast majority of how most people view and use porn is not one geared towards love, intimacy, empowerment or connection.

I’ve worked with quite a few men, where sex and particularly pornography have been a way for them to cope with and escape from the troubles they are facing in the world.

There is so much tension and pressure they feel in their life that they aren’t dealing with powerfully and so choose to get their “hit” through sex and pornography.

I think this is the root cause of a pornography addiction – the ones that become addicted to porn do so because there are many other issues that they aren’t dealing with in their life.

And a quick fix is way easier then doing the deeper work needed to address their pains, worries and fears. It acts as a way to numb out, avoid or be distracted. (For more info on how porn affects us click here)

Porn then becomes a place for them to feel safe, a sanctuary where they are able to focus solely on their own pleasure with no pressure from anyone or anything.

In essence, it’s escapism – where porn and masturbation are used as a way to cope with the anxieties and tension in their life. However, the release they feel is only temporary and because it’s only temporary, lasts a few minutes or an hour or two, whereby the pressure then builds up and again the search is on for the next release.

In addition, most men, after they achieve orgasm, can often times have an empty feeling afterwards – they aren’t rejuvenated by their orgasm, they are depleted.

This is why intimacy is actually critical for us men. (And your partner will love you for it – as I mentioned in this post)

Pornography actually changes our perspective on sex from something inclusive to something xclusive.

It can lead to us completely disconnect during sex and instead solely fantasize about previous videos or experiences we’ve had in the past.  In some cases this can be so extreme that some men may not even be able to achieve orgasm with their actual partner and instead can only finish through masturbation to porn.

So what is the solution here?

Getting rid of porn could be one solution, but it’s a billion dollar industry and likely not going anywhere and as long as it’s so accessible it’s unrealistic to think that it’s going to disappear.

In order to powerfully create well-adapted connected men it will have to begin in our home.

I believe that it’s the parent’s responsibility to teach our children about what sex is and what it’s not. To dispel the myth and confusion young boys have about what they see in porn versus what real sex is.

I say teach ‘OUR’ children because as men and mentors we are all responsible for shifting the conversation for todays youth in how they gain access to this new dimension of sex. I am not asking us to stop talking about the virtues and excitement of intercourse but to add to the conversation, by including topics like these that matter in the long run.

The next way for us as men to grow deeper into intimacy with ourselves and our partners is to stop searching for the quick fix instant release.

In other words, it’s time for us to own our own shit and deal powerfully with the issues in our life that are causing us to seek and be ok with a cheap version of sex.

It’s time for us to become better men,  because quite frankly, our partners want us to and the world needs us to.

All the problems that we are facing us today are going to require all of our attention to fix them and men that are able to be fully intimate are more fulfilled, powerful and able to deal with the challenges we as human beings face today.

We need you to be focused, connected and open if you are going to make the difference and leave the legacy that we know you can.

So, let’s get to it brother, the clock is ticking.
Scott

PS If you want to learn some new ways to have more sex and create intimacy in your relationship, download my free report, Stop Fighting For Sex! Just enter your name and email address below and I will send it to you right to your inbox!